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« Previous Next »Finding ourselves back in Los Angeles post-MaxFunCon, Katie and I activated our wondertwins powers and took the form of XOXCO. We zeroed in on the Idyllic Nerd Commune where we met up with one of our clients, Micki Pedia.
(Yes, I agree with you that it is strange that her last name is actually Pedia. These are strange times we live in!)
As XOXCO, we are helping Micki achieve her dream of world domination through clicking on stuff, this being our speciality. Though what transpired at our meetings must remain a secret, I can say that our whiteboard markers wrote things that will echo through the hallways of time for generations to come, and that we designed a button that will strike fear into hearts of men, both evil and good. I offer as proof this photo documentation of our work session, in which you can see Ms. Pedia’s face caught half-way through a revalatory transition from shock to awe.
As a reward for two grueling 4-hour work days, Micki hosted a cookout in her backyard in our honor. She invited many of our lovely Los Angeles based internet friends, many of whom I have had tongue-to-tongue contact with at Burning Man. Unfortunately, the names of my friends and most of the details of this party were wiped completely from my memory by my consumption of an enormous number of homemade, ultra-delicious bacon-wrapped dates.
But one memory remains, still burning in my mind hole:
Several hours into the party, after I had consumed vast quantities of grilled meats, beer, and the aformentioned bacon-wrapped dates, and as I was just settling in for a nice long session of staring happily at a wall, one of Micki’s precocious young nieces approached with a glint in her eye. Still agitated from a ping-pong table tennis match we had played earlier in the evening, and with competition still on her breath, she issued a challenge:
“I bet you can’t do a bridge pose!” she said.
“I so can,” I said. This is true. Though it is not common knowledge, I am a serious practitioner of Ashtanga yoga, and can, with very little effort, perform a perfectly executed bridge pose.
“Then do it!” she said.
“I don’t really feel like it,” I said. The thought alone caused some of the dates in my stomach to shed their bacon wrapping and head for my colon.
“You can’t do it!” she squealed.
“Yes, yes, I can!” I said. “I just don’t want to!”
I was not about to be cajoled into displaying my physical prowess by an eight-year old child, and this must have been quite evident, as Sarah Szalavitz chose this moment to jump into the conversation.
“It is really interesting,” she said, “that you can’t just admit that you are unable to do a bridge pose.”
“But I CAN do one!” I said.
“Wow,” she said. “You can’t even admit it to me.”
“I COULD admit it if admitting it would not make me a liar, but I stand strong on my position that I am perfectly capable of doing a bridge pose, but that I do not at this time DESIRE to do so, especially as it would now represent rhetorical defeat at the hands of an eight year old girl.”
“It is just so weird that you can’t admit it.” said Sarah.
It is a true testiment to the glory and power of the Internet that I can now reach back in time and PROVE SARAH SZALAVITZ TOTALLY AND FOREVER WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!
(It should be noted that this is the second attempt at proving Sarah wrong about this. The first attempt undertaken involved displaying my ability to a mutual friend who was supposed to bring up in casual conversation her amazement at my ability to execute a bridge pose at a moments notice. This mutual friend, however, was slightly too nonchalant about it, and Sarah did not pick up on the fact that she had been proven so very, very wrong, and thus I did not get the satisfaction I desire.)
Late that night, we left our friends and their iPhones, and returned to Dana’s house to sleep on her unreasonably comfortable couch. She left early the next morning before we awoke, and as we also had to leave so that we could continue our trip northward to San Francisco, we made a parting gift out of the gourmet pickles that had earlier been given to us by a gourmet chef.
What great friends we are, Katie and I. Great friends bearing pickles.
STAY TUNED, AS EVEN MORE ADVENTURES IN AWESOME ARE STILL YET TO COME!
Update: Success!
